Damn Ravi and his excellent powers of debate…

Anyone who knows me knows I’ve been swearing for MONTHS that Wheelie is my Last Baby.

Last night Ravi and I were talking and he came up with a really good argument for #3.

Elanor has only one functional kidney.  As a biracial child, and half Asian, her wait for a new kidney would be the wait from hell.  Her best shot at a match is a sibling.  Having a second potential match for her is something we actually do need to think seriously about before electing to not have another child.

The truth of the matter is that if pregnancy were easy for me, all secondary/tertiary arguments aside (extra college tuitions, minivan, etc that I most make as justifications), I would have more than two children.  I don’t know that I would ever go above 3 or 4, but I would have more than two.  That both pregnancies have been soul suckingly bad is the major reason I don’t want to do this again.

I hate that now that Elanor is “all better” (in that she’s developmentally on target and such) that I can’t forget the past.  That no matter what I do, the truth is that she does have only one kidney.  Many people go their whole lives with one kidney.  Many people don’t even know about it until they have their midsection imaged for an unrelated issue.  But there’s the part of me that fears for her.

I know what it’s like to sit by a child’s bedside and wonder if tonight is the night that you’re going to lose them.  I never want to experience that again.

I want to protect my child.

And all arguments aside, before I can close up shop after Wheelie is born, I need to think long and hard about the benefit of a third child, regardless of the physical toll of 10 months of soul sucking nausea and puking.

Damn it.

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2 Responses to Damn Ravi and his excellent powers of debate…

  1. I have to tell you it’s been refreshing reading your blog. I’m on my first pregnancy and I’m glad to read someone going through the same experiences I’ve been having. I quite hate reading so many wonderful pregnancy stories, and personally get a bit jealous. I almost feel like I’m reading reality compared to fiction.

    • Crystal says:

      Thanks. I know what you mean…I often feel left out in the happy awesome narrative of pregnancy.

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