I’ve been experiencing high blood pressure. 130/90 high. High enough that if I can’t get it to come down through will power and good behavior, we need to talk about blood pressure meds. High enough that I’m starting to wonder if I’ll have to deliver in the US.
It is absolutely impossible for me NOT to take this to the worst possible scenario, which is pre-e and a micro preemie. If that were to happen, both of us have the best chance at survival in the US.
So it comes down to
- At what point do we make the call
- What point is it too late to make the call
This just sucks. There doesn’t feel like there is a good solution here. Being in the US means living with my in-laws for an extended period of time (which would be stressful and not great for my blood pressure), separating Ravi and Elanor, and Ravi missing out on the new baby’s first month(s) of life. Staying here feels like it might mean risking my and Wheelie’s life.
I hate this. I’ve been in pregnancy induced tears all day since I finally accepted that it’s not a bad bp cuff or white coat phobia and is a real problem that I need to face.
It feels so fucking unfair. I had a shit pregnancy with E and puked my guts up from week 7 until she was out. I dealt with diabetes. My kid almost died at a week of age. You’d think the universe would cut me some slack this time around. I haven’t actually puked yet. But high blood pressure? Having to make hard calls like separating my family or not? Seriously, universe. Give me a fucking break!