I’m going to go crazy before this weekend…

I ovulated approximately four days before I broke my ankle.  My period is due in six days.

It’s too early to take a pregnancy test and get any sort of reliable, accurate answer.

That didn’t stop me from peeing away on a stick yesterday, and praying…although who knows what for…as I waited for a word (or words) to appear.  Obviously, it was “not pregnant” because it’s TOO DAMN EARLY TO TAKE A PREGNANCY TEST.

There is all manner of high quality bullshit going through my head right now

  • Ravi had pnuemonia when I got pregnant with E, so breaking my ankle MUST mean I’m pregnant.
  • Amy from Amalah.com is pregnant again…and when she was pregnant with Ezra, I was pregnant with Elanor, so I must be pregnant.
  • Ravi’s cousin K had a miscarriage, had a girl, had a miscarriage and had a boy, so I must be pregnant and I’ll miscarry because that’s the pattern.
  • The broken ankle is a punishment for having unprotected sex when I wasn’t supposed to…and therefore I’ll be pregnant and puke even more, which will hurt like hell

Just on, and on and on.  Complete bullshit.

Did I ever mention I have a master’s degree?  Apparently they just hand those out to every lunatic who can afford tuition now (or who can, more accurately in my case, take out enough debt to buy a house in most parts of the country to pay for the damn degree).

If I’m being honest, I’m hoping against hope…against all common sense, really, that I *am* pregnant.  But between the stress on my body, the D&C and that I’m struggling to keep my diabetes under control, I know it’s probably either not going to be so or that I could easily miscarry or have problems.

Logic dictates that I should hope against pregnancy.  It certainly wouldn’t be easy to have morning sickness with a big ole cast on my leg.  How would I reach the basin in time?  I need more imaging, and even with the big lead aprons over my stomach, it’s best not to have a bun in the oven.

But I can’t test until Thursday.  I could test Wed, but there’s only a 53% chance of an accurate result.  If the thursday test is negative, I’ll retest on Sunday, when I’m due.

In the meantime, I’m going crazy.  And of course, since I’m trapped at home and mostly have nothing but time to kill…I have plenty of time to be obsessive.

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