Thinking of number two…

I made a pre-conception appointment with my American OB for our vacation in November. Pregnancy holds a lot of trauma triggers for me (especially when I start thinking of delivery), the strong probability is that I will be diabetic again, and the fact that I have a great deal of mistrust for the medical system here mean that I am scared of being pregnant in Singapore.  Talking to my former OB (who is technically a perinatologist and a specialist in diabetic pregnancy) will allow me to hear from her mouth directly what concerns she has, what things she would plan on going in (although of course a pregnancy can be radically different from the one before it, and you can’t really plan how a pregnancy will go), and her advice on things ranging from travel to how frequently she feels we should U/S early on given I’ve had early bleeding both times.

We have an idea of when we’ll start trying in 2011, and there is a chance it will be before we are home again in May/June for my 10 year college reunion.  So I also made an appointment to get the IUD pulled.  Our insurance covers no birth control whatsoever, so if I have to pay someone to pull it out, I’d rather the money go to the Planned Parenthood I volunteered in.  I know they’ll use it well.  But that also means I should stock up trojans…I realize it’s stupid, but I don’t want to entrust my fertility planning to strange japanese condoms I don’t know.  Or durex, which I never liked.  Yes, I could temp, but I’m lazy and we’re far better off with condoms for a few months.

Ravi actually encouraged me to go on pre-natals and folic acid now.  It’s not like they’d hurt me (I should be taking a vitamin anyways…I have a diet not unlike my toddler’s at the moment) and if there were to be an accident, I could at least take heart in knowing I’d been on them for a chunk of time already.  The medicine I was on will have cleared my system by mid-December, which is a big relief.  While we have a proven track record of only getting pregnant when we want to, that record dates back to when our birth control was condoms.  We haven’t used them in almost three years, so it’s best to plan for contingencies where an “accident” might occur.

It’s strange because to me, Siblet seems like this distant event, far off on the horizon.  To actively be planning for him or her is surreal.  Hearing Ravi say he’s mostly ready now actively freaked me out.  While I ready to be planning and to switch to condoms, I’m not sure that I am ready to get pregnant.  The appointment to get the IUD pulled is the week of Thanksgiving, and I’m open to canceling it if I decide I’m not ready.  But the idea that I may be the “responsible” one this time around, insisting on consistent condom usage, reminding HIM of the reasons it’s not time to get pregnant yet (we really do need to see the bonus and if it’s as good as promised and do the honest assessment of whether we want to stay or not…and if we’re not, there’s absolutely no way a pregnancy can be on the board), instead of vice versa.

As I said…surreal.

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2 Responses to Thinking of number two…

  1. Rachel M says:

    I had a big freak out right before trying for #2, it’s because now you know what is coming! But you have a great support system so I think you will be fine!

  2. Ange says:

    Remind him that I will have to hurt him if he gets you pregnant before my IVF works. (Or we get an adoption match.)
    I like that you’re planning, but it is freaking me out too, that you’re already thinking about #2. 🙂

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