Has had it up to here with fear mongering…

I’m going to keep this short because I’m definitely feeling bitchy.


I’m O-V-E-R the fear mongering.  I direct that statement at the media, at our culture, at other parents, and at other adults who are not currently or ever have been parents.

NO…I’m not frightened my toddler will be kidnapped if I leave her alone in a locked car for 10 seconds so I can return a shopping cart.

NO…I don’t think I need to “help” her come down the slide.

NO…I don’t think I need to stand by the play structure “in case she falls off.”

NO…I don’t think every adult she comes into contact with should be fingerprinted.

NO…I don’t think every adult male is looking at her with a predator’s eyes.

NO…I don’t think Pampers has entered into a vast conspiracy to give my child diaper rash.

NO…I don’t think I’m horrible because I did/didn’t breastfeed/bottlefeed/formula feed my kid.


I refuse to feel guilty for doing what’s right for my family.

I refuse to let you make others feel guilty for the same because of YOUR agenda.  If you use cloth diapers, hearing a rumor about a vast disposable diaper conspiracy isn’t really getting data from a credible source.  La Leche League…you’re not a credible source about formula.  THINK people.  Stop reacting with that little flight-or-fight part of your brain and QUESTION the information you’re being given.

Even when it’s from a credible source.  The APA cites a study that talks about the detrimental value of screen time on kids under 2.  That’s fine and nice, but the study doesn’t include any data about parental education level or socioeconomic status.  Which makes it a flawed study.  There’s data that says children of low socioeconomic backgrounds hear 3 million fewer words before they enter pre-school, so there’s definitely a correlation between socioeconomic status and screen time.  But is that true if two college educated adults who read daily to their child bring in screen time whether it’s apps on an iPhone, some Elmo, or even some Disney?  I don’t know.  I don’t see data that supports your recommendation across the board.

One of the things I’m happiest about with the move is that someday my Parents and Parenting mags will stop finding me.  I don’t want to read you.  In the mildest cases, I find myself rolling my eyes at you.  In the worst, I have thrown you across the room.  Most days I just find you worth the money I’ve saved thanks to the Gymboree coupons I find there on occasion.

Honestly, there are times when it’s enough to make me want to withdraw from the whole mommy community except for a few clear headed friends.

Maybe it’s maturity and confidence in being a mom that comes with time, and maybe it’s just that I’m easily irritated these days….but I’m just over this bullshit.

ETA–In fact I’m over this bullshit enough to have left my pregnancy community on live journal.  I dealt with girl on girl bitchiness in junior high and high school, got to watch it play out in my classroom and get to deal with it face to face in my every day life with real people.  I neither need nor deserve to deal with it in what little leisure time I have.  Call it whatever you want…I packed up my toys and went home.  The fact that the ONLY comment made on my (far more mature than I wanted to be) post saying I was leaving (rather than slinking off into the sunset quietly…because I just don’t DO leaving quietly) was a snarky “you wanted to say goodbye so much you posted it twice” is EXACTLY why I left…and btw lj…thanks for sending me replies to a post in a community I left.

As I tweeted…I anticipate far fewer *headdesk* moments in my life.  Except when my relatives post alarmist bullshit on FB.

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4 Responses to Has had it up to here with fear mongering…

  1. Saffy says:

    Hear, hear. You cover some great points. I particularly concur r.e. the research and lack of presented correlation (I bet it has been done in the background!) bet contributing factors. Wasn’t there a similar *type* of study done that ranted on about how breastfed kids were so much smarter? Only to ignore the correlation w bf’ing rates amongst better educated folks were higher. I hate dodgy data.

    Like you I’m not going to be a cotton wool parent. I agree – kids need to be kids, not everyone’s bad, not everything needs hand sanitiser, etc etc..

    Regarding *interesting* claims made in some communities. HELL YES. I get infuriated. I’ve dumped a whole lot of the places I used to give time to for that reason. Either people had no interested in ensuring that their facts were straight, or they were so close minded that I couldn’t cope with them any more. Don’t get me started on “God’s Will”. Hmmm.

    And the clincher, yesterday – a tweet came thru about formula being poison. WTF? I was pissed – but imagine how that would make someone feel who was already feeling low? Appalling.

    So I’d say you’ve got buckets of maturity, street smarts, confidence and a well honed bullshit radar.

    (sorry this is so long 🙂 )

  2. Ashley says:

    I know you’ll delete this but seriously, overreaction much? I use disposables and posted the link too. It sounds to me like you’re butthurt about things you couldn’t do/didn’t want to do and you’re finding every chance to attack the people who parent differently. You’re a grown adult. Get over it and move on.

  3. Crystal says:

    @Ashley…No, there’s no reason to delete your comment. You’re entitled to your opinion as I am to mine…which is that grown women who are making decisions for their children who don’t question the source material of over the top claims like “Pampers are giving kids chemical burns” aren’t using their brains anymore than the people who claim Obama is a secret socialist Kenyan are. Period. But since the majority of women who felt compelled to attack me for questioning FACEBOOK (which quite frankly makes Wikipedia look reliable when it comes to reliability of source material) and a cloth diapering mom as valid source material for a rumor are the women who seem active in that community…HELL YES I’m going to leave.

    Leaving may seem like an overreaction…but losing those women from my life is a happy thing.

    @ Saffy…thanks. And exactly…Let’s use that lump 3 feet above our asses (to quote Tom Hanks) for something like…THINKING!!!!

  4. Rachel M says:


    butthurt? That is a very rude assessment.

    Fear mongering is a deliberate rouse used in media today to get people to watch the news. Crystal is just highlighting a few examples.

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