Making Peace

I’m not sure if this has happened to anyone else, but when I went off dairy, my supply tanked.

Maybe it’s coincidence?  I’ve read that some women have a drop in supply around 4 months of age and Elanor turned 4 months last Tuesday.  I’m just not sure.

Needless to say it’s been discouraging.

I reached a point tonight where I looked at my husband and said that I want to stop pumping, although what I mean by stop pumping isn’t necessarily what others would mean by that.  What I mean is that I’m tired of taking supplements like domperidone and fenugreek, tired of trying to reach a pumping goal every day, tired of freaking out if I forget my pump or handsfree bra, tired of missing stuff because I have to go and pump, tired of freaking out over my supply, and tired of always figuring pumping into my daily life.  If I were pumping enough that I didn’t need formula, maybe it would be worth it.  But I’m not.

I’ve also been exhausted all the time since I stopped eating dairy.  Again, I’m not sure that there’s a connection but it feels like there is.

So I’m going to do what makes sense to me.  I’m going to stop taking all the supplements.  I’m going to pump as my life allows it, instead of scheduling my life around pumping.  Whatever I can make is great and I’ll give it to Elanor.  But enough is enough.  And when I stop producing milk, I’ll have stopped producing milk.  I’ll stay dairy free until then…but I’d be lying if I didn’t say there’s one hell of a NOT dairy free meal at the end of this road.

Babyhood is too short for me to spend it stressing over my breast milk instead of enjoying my child.

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One Response to Making Peace

  1. Joelle says:

    Hey there- just wondering how you’re travelling with all of this? Hope you’re doing ok…

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