My birthday present was almost my baby…

While today (Friday 10/24…I finished the entry after midnight) was my birthday, it did not excuse me from my weekly OB visit and one of my twice weekly ATU (antenatal testing unit) appointments.  However, the husband and I went in expecting everything to go the way it always goes and then to go home and change before heading out to meet up with some friends for a low key celebration of my big day.

I woke up feeling kind of lousy, but I’ve been feeling lousy all week.  The puking has returned, and today I also had a raging migraine.  I still thought we’d make it out to our plans, but figured I might need a Tylenol or something  if eating didn’t ease the headache.

Eating didn’t really help, but we were at the hospital for the appointment so I decided to get through the appointment before taking some Tylenol or maybe having a Coke to see if it might be caffeine withdrawal.

My blood pressure was high at the start of my ATU appointment.  The non-stress test and biophysical profile were fine, so they took my pressure again.  Still high.

My OB decides that she wants to see me first before sending me for bloodwork in L&D triage.

She doesn’t like what she sees, especially when I mention the other things I’m feeling like the nausea and the migraine.  However, my blood pressure has gone down a bit in the 20 minutes since it was last taken…it’s still elevated for me, but below what is considered worrisome.  So she decides to have me checked out further.

It is at this point that words and phrases like “pre-eclampsia” and “admit you” and “start the induction tonight” started getting thrown around, should my bloodwork come back positive.

I send out a text and email to my friends cancelling our plans.  It will be several hours until we know for sure what’s going on, and by that point some people might already be heading into the city to meet up with us.  I am still feeling like crap, and the idea of hanging out with 10+ friends is sounding less and less appealing.

We go to Labor and Delivery.  It is my second time there this week.  I didn’t mention the other trip, but the short version is that on Tuesday I was awakened with sharp stabbing pains that my OB’s nurse thought could be early labor.  It turned out not to be early labor, but I was dehydrated and unable to keep down food, so I had to be rehydrated and given some anti-emetics (so I would stop puking) through an IV.  I am less than thrilled to be there for the SEVENTH time this pregnancy.

They have to stick me twice to get enough blood to do all the tests, and it’s clear from the start that one of the sticks is going to leave a bruise to match the one on my hand from the IV on Tuesday.

My blood pressure is taken again.  It’s not as high as it was in the ATU 4 hours ago, but it’s higher than it was in the OB’s office 3 hours ago.  It’s not quite over the borderline of what they consider indicative of pre-e, but it’s close and it’s definitely high for me.

We wait for more than an hour, during which a doctor comes in and talks more about pre-e and how since I’m full term (37 weeks is full term; I’m 37 weeks and 4 days) if my tests come back positive, I should be mentally preparing myself to start the induction tonight and probably have Emby in the next 24 hours.  I alternate between relief that she’ll finally be out, and stress because I have stuff planned that NEEDS to get done next week.  I contemplate that 9 days earlier than planned isn’t THAT much in the grand scheme of things.  I contemplate that if she’s born today or tomorrow that my birthday will NEVER be celebrated again (I’ll turn 40 the year she turns 10, etc) and admit to myself that I am selfish enough that I kind of want my birthday to be MY birthday, and that I’d prefer her birthday is another week…and especially if that by waiting the 9 days until her scheduled induction it’s also technically another MONTH than me.  My mind blurs as it whips through all of these things over and over and over again as we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Finally the tests come back.

They’re negative.

No baby today.

I am at once relieved and sad.  I had begun to mentally saddle up for the main event.  I’m kind of sick of L&D and it would be nice to just have the baby and get it over with at this point.  But I’m also relieved because there is stuff next week that I really WANT done before Emby arrives.

However, just because my bloodwork is negative does not apparently mean I’m not in the earliest stages.  I am told that I can go home tonight, but that I need to come back on Monday.  Unless my migraine doesn’t go away or gets worse, or if I start to swell in my face/hands/feet, or I can’t keep food/liquids down, or I start to show any of the normal signs of labor…at which point I get to go back to L&D AGAIN.

I am torn because at this point I really don’t know what I’d prefer in my heart of hearts.  All I do know is that I want her to be safe and healthy and that I want to be safe and healthy and for the doctors to do whatever it takes for that goal to be accomplished.

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2 Responses to My birthday present was almost my baby…

  1. Rachel M. says:

    Hi – I read your comment over at Suburban Turmoil and I agree with you. I would not have wanted to do pregnancy alone including taking care of my baby now. She’s 4 1/2 months old and consumes most of our free time and my house is a wreck – okay it’s not that bad! However, even with both of us here it’s challenging to just make dinner and get the dishes done. I really can’t imagine doing this alone. Anyway, good luck on yours!

  2. Taking a Chance on Baby says:

    Thanks so much for visiting and I hope you’ll stay.

    As the child of a single mom, I could NEVER condemn a woman for that choice. I contemplated it myself. My mom was a single mom.

    But my gods pregnancy has sucked pretty badly and I can’t imagine doing it alone.

    Congrats on your little one as well!

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