Dear Emby, Weeks 30 and 31

Dear Emby

I’m 32 weeks and 1 day today.  I’m a bit late on this, but we’ve had a busy couple of weeks.

Week 30

The major events of week 30 were that I helped Auntie A’s mom shop for her shower decorations and mailed out her invitations, went to Maine to visit your great-grandpa, convinced Daddy to go to the doctor to get his shoulder looked at, lost my mucus plug, Daddy and I attended a childbirth class, and that we had a birthday brunch with Grandma.

Auntie A’s mom needed a bit of help planning Auntie A’s baby shower.  It was stressing out Auntie A, so I was happy to help.  I was, however, a bit relieved when another location opened up for the shower, once I realized that the guest list was around 30ish people and my living room has trouble holding more than 15 or so people.

The trip to Maine was the first time in a long time that I’ve seen your Great-Grandpa.  We’ve had a strained relationship ever since he promised to walk me down the aisle at my wedding and then changed his mind.  It’s been hard for me to understand that he’s starting to get really old, and that some of what comes with that is loss of memory.  That the loss of memory will affect our relationship.  That I have to let it go, and just try to have the best relationship with him as is possible.  Not to expect too much.  And that’s hard, since he was always a strong person, a father figure, and this tall strong hero to me.  It’s hard to realize that this man who I perceived as tall and strong is only a few inches taller than me.

Someday you’ll realize that your dad and I are human, and that realization is going to hurt.  More, one day you’ll have to be the strong adult who takes care of us.  I had to take responsibility for his life insurance policy and knowing what he wants to have done when he dies.  I’m sorry that one day we’ll ask you to take that responsibility too.  But it won’t be for a long time yet.

Daddy has had a sore shoulder for a while now (about a month) and I had to bully him to go to the doctor.  I hope that you will be less difficult to get to a doctor when you hurt yourself.

Friday night I lost my mucus plug.  That was disgusting.  It looked like my vagina sneezed.  Luckily, it turns out that losing your mucus plug has NO significance in and of itself.  Apparently it grows back-another fun and weird pregnancy fact that no one talks about and is never mentioned in pregnancy books.

Childbirth class was scary.  It convinced me that I’m getting an epidural.  I practically had a panic attack during the natural childbirth video.  I can’t wait to meet you, but I’m not particularly excited about how you’re coming out.

Finally, we had a birthday brunch with grandma.  She was particulary touched that we gave her a card signed by you.  Next year we’ll let you sign the card yourself…let’s see what you can do with a crayon at 9 months old (other than put it up your nose).

Week 31

During week 31, we spent 6 hours in L&D triage, had an ATU appointment, and went to Virginia to see your cousins.

The L&D triage experience was basically a confluence of a leaky vagina (gross, I know), cramps caused by pelvic displacement, and the loss of my mucus plug the previous Friday.  It took 6 hours to confirm that I was not leaking amniotic fluid or having contractions.  One of the biggest issues, however, young lady was that you were squirmy and we had trouble staying on your heartbeat.  You should know that Daddy and I are bored with L&D triage visits (the 3 we had because of bleeding, the one because of the merry go round, and this one) and would like to not return until it’s time for the real deal.

The ATU appointment was nice.  We got to see you practice breathing!  The only thing that was boring was again…staying on your heartbeat.  We did see you moving around…I think we’re in for an active wiggly baby.

The trip to DC was pretty wonderful.  We saw your cousin A and your new cousin J.  J is only 4 months old (he’ll be 6 months old when you’re born) and I got to hold him, feed him, and change him.  Your Auntie K even let me practice putting him into his carseat, so at least I won’t be a complete amateur when it’s you.  Just please dont’ try and freak me out the way your cousin J did when he started screaming the second I put him in (apparently he just hates it).  A is almost 5 year old and we got to take her to Chuck E Cheese-she promised she’d teach you all about it once you’re old enough.

We also went to Alexandria and stumbled across an art festival.  That’s where we picked up the painting of the butterfly that’s hanging in your room.  Daddy also bought me a stretched canvas photo of a rose-I’m guessing it’s hanging in Mommy and Daddy’s room.

The final thing we did in Virginia was talk to your Auntie K and Uncle S about being your guardians, should anything happen to both of us.  I hope that you’ll never need to take advantage of that, but we know that they would love you and take care of you if something ever did happen to us.

I know that’s a scary thing to end on, but I do remember when I was little worrying about what would happen to me if my Mom died, and I want to let you know that you will be loved and taken care of no matter what.  But no one will ever love you as much as we do.

until next week

love

Mommy

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