I’ve spoken before about how much Elanor LOVES the book Yummy Yucky by Leslie Patricelli (as well as Leslie’s other books).

Elanor reads to Owly that “Burgers are Yummy, Boogers are Yucky“

You can only imagine then how excited I am to be one of the hosts of Leslie’s virtual book tour this week!  Her book The Patterson Puppies and the Rainy Day will be coming out next Tuesday and Higher Higher will be released as a board book (it’s currently out in hardcover) in February.  My questions to Leslie are in bold and I hope you enjoy reading her answers as much as I did!

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Where do you get your ideas?  My almost one year old loves your stories (she can point to a page and say NONO with me) and I love your sly humor (burgers are yummy, boogers are yucky).  I also love that you aren’t part of the rhyming crowd.

Ha ha! Well, that’s funny because one of the books that I will be publishing in the next few years is a rhyming book! It’s called ‘Be Quiet, Mike!’ (though the title could change). It’s about a monkey who is a born drummer. I got the idea from my husband, a drummer, who’s parents were not too excited about the prospect of him playing the drums. Now, my son, Beck, is a born drummer. He was doing a beat with his binky when he was two! (Check it out!). When he was a toddler, I loved the noise of the drums, because I always knew what he was up to. Monkey Mike’s parents, however, do not like it so much!

Rhyming was what I aspired to do in children’s books from the get go. The first book I submitted to publishers in 1999, called ‘The Nut’, was a rhyming book. But the common response that I got from editors was, “can you re-write the story without the rhyming?”. I was told that the rhyming was driving the story, rather than the story driving the rhyme, which was very insightful, because it was absolutely true. So, at that point, I dropped rhyming. I think that the reason that publishers say they don’t want rhyming books is: 1.) Most of the rhyming isn’t good enough (Dr. Suess was, after all, a genius!); 2.) The rhyming isn’t necessary to the story, 3.) Rhyming doesn’t translate well into foreign languages. I still love rhyming, though, and a story about drumming lends itself to rhyme! Incidentally, when I first wrote the book (which has changed quite a bit since then), I wanted to include a CD with it. My husband and our friend, Chris Ballew (lead singer of the Presidents of the United States of America) turned my text into a song. My husband then, did a video for the song, using a stuffed animal we had on hand, to use in his music classes. (Check out the video!) I plan to include a link to an MP3 of the (revised) song that will accompany the published book.

Anyway, back to your question! I get my ideas from my inspiring children, my own childhood (which I remember in great detail), and from thin air. Sometimes ideas just pop into my head, usually when I am doing something else. I thought of the Patterson Puppies when I was walking down the street; I swear that they just appeared in front of me on the sidewalk – a fully formed dog family, personalities and all. The Birthday Box popped into my head while I was doing the dishes. I like to think of ideas like little butterflies constantly flitting around my head. When I pay attention and I see a pretty one and my job is to catch it. My butterfly net, of course, is my sketch book!

What inspires your artwork?  My daughter particularly loves the artwork in Yummy! Yucky!

My drawing as a kid was first inspired by Mad Magazine. My favorite artists were Don Martin and Jack Davis. I used to copy their styles. I also was awed over Maurice Sendak’s illustrations, especially from ‘Where the Wild Things Are’. I love detailed pen and ink drawings. When I first started creating illustrations, pen and ink was my medium. But, my style was complicated and I needed to learn how to simplify it. I tried all sorts of styles over a number of years: watercolor, pencil, crayon, egg tempera, etchings colored with ink, oils, acrylics and pastels. I have also been drawing on the computer since I got my first Mac SE back in 1985, and have tried out many digital styles, as well. Then, after I had my first baby, I started reading toddler books. I loved the Maisy books, Todd Parr and Nina Laden’s board books. These inspired my current style. I ultimately achieved a style I liked using acrylics. I chose acrylics to paint with because they are bright, opaque, and dry fast . Now, I use a combination of techniques to create my books. First I sketch my drawings on paper, usually in ink, but sometimes pencil. When I get drawings that I like, I scan them into Adobe Photoshop and use my Wacom monitor (a monitor that I can draw on directly with a digital pen) to refine my sketches. Next, I use Adobe Illustrator to pick all the colors for my final art. Finally, I print these out and copy them onto canvas paper with acrylic paint. I do my final illustrations with medium body acrylics on canvas paper, prepped with gesso and a brown background.

WordPress, you suck.  I can’t upload the video directly without paying money and it won’t allow me embed a vimeo video.

So I’ll just have to ask you to go here for the video.

A then and now photo of the birthday girl…

Dear Elanor

Happy birthday, baby! On November 3, 2009, you will be one year old!

This has been both a wonderful and incredibly sad month for our family. Lady passed away on October 18, which was eight days after she turned 16 years old and eight days before I turned 31. You, on the other hand, are no longer considered allergic to any food, although we are to wait to introduce nuts to you. These are both major life events for our family and have altered our lives in very different ways.

The day that we had Lady put to sleep, you spent the day with your grandmother and aunt. The vet who put Lady to sleep warned us that you were certainly old enough to have your own grief, and when you got home, we realized this was true. You walked through the door and immediately began looking for Lady. We explained, very simply, that Lady had died. We read you a book called “The 10th good thing about Barney” which is about a little boy whose cat has died. For about a week, it was very clear that you were struggling with loss. When we encountered a kitty in a story, you took the book out of my hands and threw it angrily across the room. You looked for her. You got upset when we tried to talk about kitty. But we kept reassuring you that we missed Lady, too, and that it was okay to be sad. You have since encountered a few cats, and you’ve been interested in them, but your sense of loss seems to have faded, which is good as I don’t think we’re going to be ready to add a furry member to the family any time soon.

In my last letter to you, I told you about your clearance for soy. We were thrilled when soy had gone well and you were cleared for dairy. In one week you gained 3 ounces and as of 3 days ago you were one ounce away from 16 pounds! That kind of weight gain delighted everyone, and you were given your gastroenterologist’s blessing to transition to whole milk. We were going to do it slowly, as when we had to transition you off of breastmilk, it was a real struggle, but you have moved onto whole milk with a vengeance. You absolutely love it. Now I’m hoping to wean you off the bottle and onto a sippy cup in the next few months.

The last few days have shown us what other parents take for granted. We have been able to take you to a restaurant and just order you food. We don’t have to have protracted conversations with managers, read ingredient lists, ask about cross contamination and often just get stuck with feeded you steamed veggies because it’s all that they could promise was safe. We just looked over the menu and ordered something for you. It’s been SO liberating.

More importantly, you were able to have real cake on your birthday, which when we were told about the food allergies was the thing I was most concerned about when I thought about things you might be deprived of. When I thought of being a kid, birthday cake is such a huge deal that I couldn’t imagine growing up without having one (and yes of course there are vegan options, but I did try making one and I wasn’t impressed). It was a hit, as the cupcake crumb smeared face I immortalized with my digital camera today showed.

This month we did not travel, which feels like an accomplishment in and of itself. We did, however do a lot of cool things. We visited the Connecticut Renaissance Faire, The Boston Children’s Museum, and The Acton Discovery Museum. We have continued to enjoy our Sprouts class at Isis, and will hopefully soon be starting a similar class through Early Intervention called Jump Jiggle and Jive.

We celebrated Daddy’s 33rd birthday with a special dinner out with your Dadi and Dada. You got to wear your special red velvet dress, and you enjoyed walking on the shiny floor of the restaurant, and afterward going back to your grandparent’s house and changing into pj’s and carrying my shoes around (although I’m not sure I understand why that was fun). Twelve days later we celebrated Mommy’s 31rst birthday with Indian food and you got to try cake frosting!

Your first Halloween was fun! In the weeks before Halloween we attended a few events in a ladybug costume, but we kept a special costume just for Halloween. Your Auntie Stephanie came up from New York City, and the three of us were going to go to Salem for Halloween during the day. Unfortunately it was a rough day for you (not sure if was teething, not enough sleep, or some combo of the two) and we didn’t make it. But after a long nap, you were ready to trick or treat. We started at your Dadi and Dada’s house! I bet they weren’t that surprised to see a turtle ringing their doorbell. We went to two of their neighbors and then a few of our friends houses before finishing the night with a quick stop at Target and dinner at Not Your Average Joe’s. You were absolutely adorable! It was like coming full circle, as we nicknamed you turtle when you were just a few days old. I can’t wait until next year when you’re old enough to actually say trick or treat. You did get to try your first piece of candy, which, for posterity’s sake, I can report was a kitkat. You give it a thumbs up.

On November 1rst (a Sunday) we celebrated your first birthday. In attendance were
–Mommy & Daddy
-Dada & Dadi
-Grandma & Auntie D
-Auntie Aimee, Uncle Josh and their son C
-Zach, Deb and their son Z
-Auntie Kate
-Uncle Curt
-Auntie Ange
-Auntie Steph
-Auntie Love
-Uncle Mieszko & Auntie Lynn

So many people love you!

You loved your balloons, thought the tissue paper was almost as tasty as the cupcakes, and could listen to us sing happy birthday all day. Your grandma made a cake in the shape of a ducky just for you! There were tons of balloons, a fun to be one beach ball, and a bear that everyone who came to the party autographed for you. We took lots of pictures and video.

I made you a special video, which I’ll post here on your actual birthday. I spent hours and hours on it, and I hope that someday you will think it is a nice momento of your first year here on Earth.

Thank you for one of the most challenging, wonderful and memorable years Elanor. It’s hard to think that we went from this 6 lb 11 oz 19.25 inch teeny baby who couldn’t even hold up her own head to a 16 lb 28 inch tall walking talking (sort of talking) whirlwind in 12 short months. Some day you may ask me what it was like to have a baby. I feel like I should answer that question, as you are not a baby…you are a toddler now. It is exasperating, tiring, and overwhelming. You will never be as tired as you are in those early months. It can feel like a tidal wave of need. BUT…it is a connection unlike anything I’ve ever known. You look at me with total trust. There are times when you just walk (well, run) over to me and throw your arms around me and press your open mouth against me in your version of a kiss. When I pick you up in the morning, the very first thing you always do is snuggle your little face against my shoulder and give me kisses. When you do something exciting and new, you look back to make sure I’m watching you…so that I can share in your exciting triumphs and cheer you on.

Being your mom has changed me profoundly in this past year. I’m much less worried about myself. I worry about you first and foremost. I take time for me and for your daddy too, but you are always in the back of my mind and the front of my heart. In general I am a less selfish person (although I’m not perfect, and a little selfishness is a good thing). I think I’m more easy going because no matter how many plans you make, a baby who needs a nap trumps them all, and I’ve had to keep relearning that lesson. In many ways, as you grow up, I am continuing to grow up as well.

Happy birthday baby girl…toddle off into the sunset, but keep looking back to make sure I’m there, okay? I promise that I will be.

Love
Mommy

My child is no longer considered an allergic child.  She passed her introductions to soy and gentle dairy with no allergic reactions.  Today we got the green light for full on dairy, including her transition to whole milk, as well as cooked egg (as part of a food, not egg by itself like an omlette or scrambled eggs).  She’ll get checked up in 6 weeks but if things keep going the way they are, I don’t expect to see the gastro for another year, and then perhaps once after that assuming nuts go well.

To celebrate Elanor’s achievement of NOT having allergic reactions to dairy any more, we gave her an ice cream sandwich for dinner.

Y’all can call me a bad mom for that, but just look at this happy little face and tell me it wasn’t worth it…

Click to make the picture bigger

Two things have made me feel old and crotchedy this week, even though I have only just turned 31.

The first thing to set of my radar is all this sudden talk of candy buy back programs.  In the past several days I have gotten three separate emails from stores offering us 25% off a toy or a special treat if we take our candy into them during the week following Halloween.  Many mom bloggers have also mentioned the whole candy buy-back thing.

I’m sorry, but WHAT?!!!???

In my day we trick or treated, brought home our candy, and spread it out to admire and gloat over.  The next school day we took in the stuff we didn’t like and traded furiously to acquire stuff we DID like.  We then went on a sugar binge that lasted until the tryptophan in the Thanksgiving Turkey finally put us to sleep, and all the adults around us (with the possible exception of our dentists) seem to agree with us that this was the normal progression.  Although I have been far too old to trick or treat for years (SAD), I still believe that this is the God Given Right of every child in the US (and anywhere else that celebrates Halloween with trick or treating).

Now, I realize that the 80’s were this CRAZY decade where parents let, nay ENCOURAGED children to eat junk food like McNuggets (invented in the 80’s, baby!) and sugary breakfast cereals handed out toys in the box and fruit roll ups and other sugary snacks advertised right there on the television.  Oh, and Cookie Monster?  NEVER would have touched fruit with a 10 foot pole…even a 10 foot pole made of cookies.

Today we’re all worried about childhood obesity blah blah blah…but seriously people?  It’s Hallo-fucking-ween!!!  Let them eat their candy.  Save the hummus and the pita bread and the soy nut butter for November 2nd, kay?

Item number two on my Halloween grinch list…my apartment building.  I live in a “luxury” apartment building.  This means no one has a mat outside their door, the hallways all look like a Stepford hotel, and there’s zero personality in the building.  It also happens to mean living on a busy street where we can walk to public transit and tons of restaurants, and we have underground assigned parking and don’t have to shovel out our cars through a hellish New England winter-YAY.  I wasn’t shocked, although I was irritated to hear that we wouldn’t be allowing the ruffians who don’t live here into the building to trick or treat because that’s precisely the sort of NIMBY-ism I see all the time here (NIMBY-not in my back yard).  But then I was also told that children who live in the building also were not allowed to trick or treat.  There is also no building sponsored party or any sort of consolation prize.  Guess we’ll have to go out and trick or treat with the plebians, where we belong.

I made a point of telling the building manager that this is the sort of subtle snub that our property has engaged in time and time again that has made it clear that children are tolerated, not welcomed.  Which is a shame as there are plenty of lovely people in the building who have been nothing but sweet to my daughter, including in the office.  But they just can’t be bothered to make kids welcome, even as their parents pay a monthly rent double my friend in Florida’s mortgage.

These are small things in the grand scheme of things…it’s not like we were going to do real trick or treating with E this year anyways.  We figured 3-4 doors and that was it.  Just enough to take some pictures, have some fun, and then come home to hand out candy…the latter which we apparently won’t be doing now.  More than likely we were also planning on a different apartment for next year…underground parking is all well and good but I loathe the wall to wall carpeting and we could easily save up to 500+ a month in rent by moving someplace cheaper.

What really bothers me is how parents seem to be intent in robbing children of the fun of childhood.  They worry about the food the children are eating and some schools have eliminated band candy and bake sales…some going so far as to ban the beloved cupcake.  Parents worry about safety to the point of hovering over their children well into the college plus years creating young adults who have no independence or problem solving skills.  Parents worry about bumps and bruises and keep their kids in the stroller until age 4 or older in the mall (while my not quite 1 year old has walked on the last two trips…we have the stroller, but she’s not in it).  Parents structure time until kids have no time alone to just play or be bored…for that matter if kids are bored parents feel pressured to find something for them to do (my response will always be if you’re bored I can find something for you to do…housework!…I’m pretty sure they’ll find something else to do on their own).

Some of the best things about being a kid were things most kids today will never be allowed to do…  I remember the joy of being allowed to go see a movie by myself at age 11 (Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie because my mom refused to see it and I badgered her until she just dropped me at the theater and let me see it alone).  I remember wandering through woods on my own.  I remember walking to the store by myself for the first time (a walk of a good 1/2 mile).  Walking and Biking to school alone or with friends starting around age 8.  Being a latch-key kid for a few hours.  Sitting in the car and reading instead of going into the grocery store with my mom when I was around 7/8/9  (for the record, Free Range Kids recounts Child Protective Services has been called over this recently).  Bingeing on candy Halloween night and the weeks that followed.  Watching more than X number of hours of tv per day.

Candy buy-back programs and buildings that refuse to let residents trick or treat????  That’s a trick

Relaxing and just letting your kids eat the damn candy?  What a treat!

For the past 6 months or so I’ve been volunteering at Planned Parenthood.  I am strongly pro-choice and I’ve wanted to be involved with them for years.

I’ve made the choice to not continue to do so, and it’s been one of the hardest decisions of my life.  Not continuing to volunteer has made me feel like a failure, like I’m less dedicated to the cause, like I’m letting the right win.

As if I’m not who I thought I was.

Maybe I’m not.

I had been doing mundane stuff; filling and such.  But I had started training to work a counseling line, which would include talking to women about the various abortion procedures offered by Planned Parenthood.  I have always known what these procedures entailed.  But talking them through now viscerally reminds me of the d&c I had…which was not an elective abortion of an unwanted pregnancy but an abortion following the fetal demise of a desperately wanted child.  And while I thought I was ready to work that hotline and answer those questions, it turns out that I have not dealt with my grief to the point where standing up for Elanor’s and my own reproductive rights can outweigh the emotional pain of reliving that loss over and over.

I want to be strong enough to do it.  But I’m not yet.

My best friend pointed out that it’s better for me to have realized this now rather than when I was on the phone with some poor lost girl looking for help that I was too broken to provide.

I believe in their mission.  The women who work there are amazing.  I admire them in their commitment, their ability to shrug off the protesters day after day, their passion for what they do.  I would have felt honored to count myself among their number, and someday when I am stronger and more whole I hope to.

For now, I will choose not to volunteer there anymore, and look for other ways to help the cause.  With my pen, with my wallet, and in small ways that I can do from my home.  But for now, I will not volunteer until I have dealt with my grief and can offer them a whole person.

I touched on this lightly (and fairly hysterically) before when in the midst of travel hell.  Low blood sugar, a cranky baby, and a challenging environment do not lead to good blogging.

We have traveled extensively with Elanor.  Several long road trips and two trips to the western states from the East Coast here in the US.  The UK was our first time abroad, and our longest trip to date at 19 days.

We were in Edinburgh for 12 of those days, and I found in incredibly difficult.  The Scots are a lovely people and I want to say that people went out of their way to talk to Elanor, and (by extension) me.  But as a destination, it is not a great option for families with small kids.

Things I wish I had known before we went

—Kids under 4 are not allowed on highland tour expeditions.  Period.  Even if you offer to bring a car seat.  Even if you offer to bring a car seat and pay for a full adult fare.  Even if you offer to do both of those AND sign a waiver releasing the company of all liability.  I should know…I tried.  FAIL.

–Conversely, most tour busses (the big red ones specifically) have a space for a wheelchair bound person OR one unfolded stroller on the ground floor of each bus.  The issues with these is that it’s often hard to find one with a real live tour guide, so often you need to use the headphones, which presents multiple issues when with a small child.

–The licensing laws.  Now if you’re one of those families where everyone eats before 5 (like my family was growing up) you won’t run into the sort of problems we did.  However, should you want to eat after 5 with small kids (up to age 17), good luck.  We found that there were two options…very expensive restaurants had paid for the expensive license OR McDonalds or a fast-food equivalent (most of which also close early).  This was a HUGE pain in our asses.  Scotland has a huge problem with alcoholism and so as a measure to not expose kids to the drinking culture, they’ve made licenses VERY expensive.  Only one of our 5 star hotel’s restaurants had coughed up for it, and most restaurants didn’t.  There was no comprehensive guide, and there were no signage laws (although the GM of the hotel told me this was changing) so the only way to find out if we could eat somewhere was to go and try to walk through the front door and get yelled at.  This was not pleasant.

-Eating, other issues before 5.  When traveling alone with an infant who isn’t walking, most eateries on the lower level  or upper levels are unattainable.  I desperately wanted Indian food.  I couldn’t find one at street level, and folding the buggy up and carrying baby, buggy, diaper bag and all was not an option, especially once I tried that in a castle and broke the damn stroller so that it WOULDN’T fold up.  Also, most restaurants did not have high chairs that in any way contained the kids…they were older, beat up and often missing straps.  The high end places were the exception, as you would expect.  But then we were paying the equivalent of over 100 for a two person meal, so there’s that…

-There’s just not much to do in Edinburgh with kids.  There aren’t any kids museums or much of anything for them.  Towards the end I found Molly’s…a soft-play indoor playground at a shopping Mall (Ocean Terminal, I think it was called…the royal yacht is there) and Elanor thought it was the coolest thing ever.  I also heard of a children’s petting zoo that we didn’t make it to, but that’s about it.  It’s just not a city with a lot of playgrounds or thought given to kids.  This doesn’t make it a bad place, it just makes it a difficult place to bring a young child.

Would I say NEVER EVER go there?  No…it would have been more fun with a 5 year old, particularly when we were there-Fringe Fest.  There were lots of kids events, but it was made clear to us when we tried to show up at a few of them that the under 2 set was NOT welcome.

There are also some cheats we found to get around the challenges…

–We did a lot of room service, and it wasn’t bad.  We also did a lot of stocking up at a local grocery store and making food that didn’t need to be cooked.

–I rented a car and a car seat and drove up to Loch Ness myself.  In the end, this was far more fun than a tour group as I got to choose the route, stop whenever I felt the scenery merited a photo and Elanor was a peach, sleeping most of the time as she usually does on long car rides.

–We found a book meant for people who live in Edinburgh called Edinburgh with Under 5’s which does list some family friendly restaurants…it’s a bit heavy on the chains, but it was still a useful tool to find things to do.

Overall, I don’t find Edinburgh to be a great place to take your kids, but with some ingenuity it can still be a fun place.  Easier to manage with a second adult or a walking child.

My Elanor, at the Museum of Science here in Boston about a week ago…

Today I’m re-posting (with permission!) an excellent post by NJ Face Painter.  Find the original post here, although I read it on the WickedFaire community on Live Journal…

When is face paint not face paint?

When it’s craft paint!